Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you

I am not exactly sure what is going on at this moment in time but I know that God is with me. I feel that He is working with me and ‘cleaning’ me. The fact that He has heard my prayers, yes, my prayers, tells me that He wants me to be still and to know His presence in my life and to Glorify Him

Source: Knowing Jesus

I have recently had feelings of being frightened, stressed, unsure and in my darkest moments I have even had feelings of wanting to end the suffering and pain to the point of wanting to take my own life. By God’s grace at these moments of utter despair I reached out to brothers and sisters in Christ and asked them to pray for me. God has obviously heard their prayers because I am still here. I have come to realise that contemplating taking my own life is actually a selfish thought on my part and in hindsight this gives me feelings of guilt and shame. When I see all of the hardship in this country and around the World such as starving children, wars, disasters and many other forms of suffering, one could ask are my troubles really that significant? In actual fact I can now look back and see that my troubles seem very small compared to others, however this was very difficult to see and acknowledge when I was at my lowest point. God tells me that I am a work in progress and that He has things for me to do while I am on this earth; Philippians 1:6 ‘being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus’. Below is a brief testimony showing how God is starting to work in me. I pray this will give hope and encouragement to those who may feel the way I did and to know that God is always there for us and He never leaves us, it’s actually us who move away from Him: Hebrews 13:5 ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’.

Earlier this year on 31st May I was made redundant from my job and I had to sign on for Job Seekers Allowance (JSA). When I was at the Job Centre I was asked what types of job I would be looking for. As I had worked as a cleaner for several years and as this was the job I had just been made redundant from it seemed only natural to look for similar types of jobs. I was asked if I would consider any other types of work and after a little thought I said; ‘I wouldn’t mind being a Security Guard’. I was told that to be a Security Guard I would need to pass Maths and English tests first, and as I had not been in education for many years my first thought was ‘great, that’s, that then’. I had no confidence that I would be able to pass these tests, in fact the thought of doing them filled me with dread. I therefore initially discounted the possibility of being a Security Guard.

Source: Amazing Facts

After a little while a thought came to my mind that I have got nothing to lose so I may as well have a try so I booked a place to go and take the tests. The centre where the tests were being held was quite a distance from my home. I had not been to that part of the City before and I was not convinced I would be able to find it. I asked the Lord to be with me and to help me find my way to the centre and to be with me during the tests. God heard my prayers; I managed to find the centre easily and to my amazement, I passed the tests with high scores! Matthew 7:7 ‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you’. Praise God, that He heard and answered my prayers.

I am not exactly sure what is going on at this moment in time but I know that God is with me. I feel that He is working with me and ‘cleaning’ me. The fact that He has heard my prayers, yes, my prayers, tells me that He wants me to be still and to know His presence in my life and to Glorify Him; Psalm 46:10 ‘He says, Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth’. Without knowing me personally it will be very difficult for anyone reading this testimony to fully understand what an absolute miracle it was for me to pass the Maths and English tests. There is no way I could have done this on my own. I feel that my heart is filling up with love for an amazing God who is holding me right now. Jeremiah 29:11-13 ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart’.

I have no idea what God has planned for the rest of my life, however I know that He is working on me right now. I accept that it will not always be easy but I know I have a God who hears me 24/7, a God that will always be there for me and a God that will never let me down. Thank you Father that despite all of my faults, failings and short comings that you love me unconditionally. Amen

Author: Margaret Hannon

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