Learning to forgive as we have been forgiven

I think the word forgiveness can be used quite loosely and not always fully appreciated by the person who says; ‘I forgive them’. I think we have perhaps forgotten, or in some cases have never been aware of how to totally forgive.

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I recently listened to a series of sermons at MCF Life Church about Forgiveness. It wasn’t immediately obvious that these talks were about forgiveness as they were aimed more at preparing us for the strong message that was to come in the final talk. Building up to this final message we were made aware of something that is crippling the church and severely holding us back as Christians. In that final message I seemed to zone everything out (which can be hard to do when trying to keep a 4 year old entertained!) and it was as though God was giving me a very clear reminder of what forgiveness actually is.

I think the word forgiveness can be used quite loosely and not always fully appreciated by the person who says; ‘I forgive them’. I think we have perhaps forgotten, or in some cases have never been aware of how to totally forgive. There is a very clear example that God has given to demonstrate to us how to forgive. He tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. It’s right there in the Lords prayer! This was a eureka moment for myself. It’s like someone had opened my eyes and I suddenly knew where I was going wrong.

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There have been many occasions where I have had to forgive people for one reason or another. I’m no different to anyone else here although there has been the odd occasion where the hurt that has taken place has gone pretty deep and I’ve dragged that hurt around with me in a little suitcase rather than leaving it at the cross. I already knew that as a Christian it is only right that I have a forgiving heart. Now it may sound a bit silly but even though I knew I had to forgive I didn’t really know how to go about doing this properly or how I should even feel afterwards. 

About a year ago I underwent a course of Christian counselling as a few things were getting the better of me and that suitcase of personal baggage was getting pretty heavy by now! We talked about various different things and forgiveness was regularly brought up and I was encouraged to forgive various different people as we sorted through the suitcase. This felt good, however, it just stopped there. I was left feeling a bit confused. Had I really forgiven all those people? I said I had...but had I? I still didn’t feel overly great towards them.

It was only when I heard this final message that I realised I had a bit of unfinished business. There is a bit more to it than just saying you forgive them. God has called us to forgive as we have been forgiven. It is only when I was reminded that Jesus died on the cross for our sins that I really began to understand. That God forgives our sins and then chooses not to remember them. He doesn’t bring them up again later and throw it in our face or go telling others about it. Our sins are forgiven and forgotten. God then chooses to bless us. When we ask for forgiveness of our sins we are forgiven, they are forgotten, we are blessed and we are then at peace with God. 

This is where the challenge begins. So when somebody wrongs us we have to forgive. That means to hold no grudge or bitterness towards that person. We are to keep it to ourselves and not to blab their wrong doings to anyone and everyone. Then for the hardest part, we need to ask God to bless them. Only then can we feel a real peace about it. This may need to be done on a daily basis to keep that peace as sometimes it is harder to forgive for the things that hurt deep down. 

Author: Samantha Tarplin 

May God bless and enrich your life

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