In my own self I am a sinner, I want to do all the things that would be no good for my mind, spirit, body and soul. I want to drink that extra glass of wine and eat that extra biscuit that my body doesn’t need. However if I was to consume anything that I desired my body would come into disagreement and my internal organs would start to struggle, my heart would scream out ‘stop, don’t eat that extra cake, it is putting tremendous pressure on your heart' and my liver would scream out ‘stop, that extra glass of wine is overloading your liver with toxins, that it does not have the capacity to filter'. When I prayed to God and asked him why I want to do the things that are no good for me and yet don’t do the things I should, as in Romans 7:15 ‘I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do’; He gave me this scripture; Matthew 22:37-39 ‘Jesus replied ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself’.
Who is our Neighbor? - The Good Samaritan
– Source: www.biblestudy1.com
Tina you are ‘beautifully and wonderfully made’ (Psalm 139)
Tina you are ‘the apple of my eye’ (Zechariah 2:8)
Tina ‘every single hair on your head is numbered’ (Matthew 10:30)
Tina you are ‘not a mistake’ (Psalm 139)
Tina ‘I have a plan for your life’ (Jeremiah 29:11)
Tina ‘you are ‘my child and I am your father’ (1 John 3:1)
Tina ‘I love you with an everlasting love’ (Jeremiah 31:3)
Tina ‘as a shepherd carries a lamb I have carried you close to my heart’ (Isaiah 40:11)
Tina ‘I am not counting your sins’ (2 Corinthians 3:18-19)
Tina ‘I sent my only son to die so you might choose life’ (Romans 5:8)
Therefore for me not to love myself, would be disrespectful to God and His amazing creation; Me, Tina O’Neill. This revelation then led me to some further questions that I asked God; ‘How do I sort out all the garbage that I carry around deep within myself, all the garbage of my past, the hurts and pain, some that run all the way back to my childhood?’ and ‘how do I sort out some of the unpleasant ways that I deal with certain situations, behaviors that not only hurt me but hurt other people that I love?’
I believe that this was God’s answer to me; He said ‘Tina it is not easy and it will take hard work and discipline but if you take my hand I will be with you every single step of the way’ (Psalm 37:24); ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’; (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5, 1 Chronicles 28:20, Psalm 37:28 and Hebrews 13:5). I had to learn over a thirty year period how to hand everything over to God and it was not easy and it still can be a very painful process at times, however God knows I am a work in progress whose heart is sold out for Him. With the help of the amazing Holy Spirit, the Comforter and the Paraclete we started to work on cleaning up my filthy garbage. Praise God for His love and awesome provision. This blog would be to long if I were to try to explain the whole process but I will share just a small part of it. I have been married for thirty years and God has blessed me with an amazing husband who I love so much. Without putting him on a pedestal he has patience that stretches like a rubber band that never seems to break and believe me I have tested his patience to the very maximum over the years. My husband was sent by God to show me how much God loves me. After a very painful childhood it was hard for me to love or trust anybody but my husband loved me from the moment he saw me and he has never stopped loving me. I was amazed when our marriage lasted just one year and never believed in my wildest dreams it would last over thirty years. Every morning when I wake up, and my husband is still with me I Praise God. Without a doubt it is God’s divine blessing on our lives that protects our marriage.
God blesses us with intimate relationships so that we can heal the hurts that we have deep within us. A loving relationship allows us to look at our hurts and pains safely, and to know that the other person is not going to run away. I believe a lot of the problems that occur in today’s relationships are a result of selfishness. People seem to be out to get what they can from the other person without realizing that the Godly purpose of being in any relationship is to give, to be a blessing and not to keep taking. God’s unconditional love through my husband allowed me to bring the hurts to the surface and then get the Godly help I needed to overcome them (Psalm 1). It would never have been acceptable to project those hurts unto my husband. God never gives us another human life to use as a punch bag. It was always that I would need to take responsibility for my own behavior and to sort it out in a holy manner.
Everything about God is love. Therefore, for us to love our neighbor then we first have to start with loving ourselves, however painful that might be. So many people are quick to throw stones and make judgements without even knowing someone else’s ‘story’. Jesus came to heal the sick (Mark 2:17); He asks us to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). To love the people who abused me when I was a child was very difficult and it was only when I truly handed the pain over to God that I could really start to heal. God used my husband, daughter and son to draw me closer and closer to Him. Amen
God is an amazing and loving God and I love Him with all my heart, every second of every single day is not a problem for me, however, loving my neighbor (my enemies) gets a bit harder. I pray dear Father God you will keep helping and supporting me to love myself the way you love me and then I can love my enemies and be of help, support and encouragement to the body of Christ.
Every day I use the tools that God has given me so that I will be ready with my family in Christ, as ONE spotless Bride (Ephesians 5:27 and Acts 17:11). Take a look below at what God tells us
‘With God all things are possible’. Amen (Matthew 19:26)
I have been ‘lifted from the miry clay and I stand my feet on a rock’. Amen. (Psalm 40:2)
I am ‘the head and not the tail’ Amen (Deuteronomy 28:13)
I am ‘more than a conqueror’ Amen (Romans 8:37)
I wear ‘the full armor of God’ Amen (Ephesians 6:10-18)
I am ‘a new creation’ Amen (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I may get knocked down but I get back up again, dust myself down and go back to war, I am a Christian soldier (2 Corinthians 4:9), an ambassador for Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20), I know, that I know, that I know, that my God has got it all under control (Romans 8:28). Amen. All Glory to God ALWAYS.
Author: Christina O’Neill
May God bless and enrich your life
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